A friend of mine recently commented on this post (Anxiety to Depression and Back to Life) and I realized how important it is for me to continue writing about my imperfections and how I’m working to overcome them. The purpose of this blog is to educate and inspire but it’s also to help people realize that no one person has it all right. A great person knows that and works with it. So here it goes:
Confession: I think I’m having a Quarter Life Crisis. I work very hard at work, at my primary job and my secondary job. I take care of our apartment and do everything I can to keep Mike and I healthy. I feel pretty well stimulated considering the place I find myself in. But sometimes I get really really sad. I miss my friends. I miss having friends. Where did the days go when we could call each other and meet fifteen minutes later to have a coffee or a quick drink? College held amazing opportunities to be around people but I had so little time to take advantage of it. Now that I have the time, I don’t have the people. I’ve been working at this for months, trying to put myself out there and make friends. There have been small victories every once in a while but 5 months into our stay in Peoria, I still find myself very much friendless.
Misconceptions: I heard so many times while I was in school how awful it was to be graduated. I completely disagree. Thank goodness school is over. It was 6 years of way too much work, an emotional roller coaster. I do not miss it for a second. I now have freedom to do what I want when I want (pretty much) and I have the good fortune of finally spending my own money (instead of the bank’s)! The only crappy thing about being done with school is how my social life is suddenly and completely gone. Would it be different in another city? What about if I’d just gone traveling instead of settling in the US? I’ll never know. What I do know is that this happens to lots and lots of people every year. How do they merge into the adult world? It’s really fricken hard I think.
My Case: I know I know. I’m being dramatic. Of course I have friends! They just don’t happen to live anywhere close to me. But that’s not enough. My close friends know how much they mean to me. We do everything we can to keep in touch and make sure we continue supporting each other, but I need someone to grab a quick drink or a coffee with.
Solution: I don’t know what the solution is. Obviously what I’m doing now isn’t working so I’m going to have to change my approach. This is going to be a learning experience for me. It may take much longer for me to figure this out but I will. Just like all those years and people before me, I’ll make friends. They may not be quite as awesome or close as the friends I have scattered all over the world, but they at least they’ll get a drink with me!
Anyway, that’s my confession. That is one of the many things I’m struggling with right now. I think that recognizing problems and making steps to solve them is a continuous, life-long process. And the fact that these are the type of issues I’m dealing with in my life makes me a VERY lucky lady.
ps. Thank goodness for all the love in my life. I may not have friends here in Peoria but man there’s a lot of love floating around for me outside this town.
Happy Monday everyone! Keep on keepin’ on 🙂
“Now that I have the time, I don’t have the people.”
You’re not alone! It’s kind of nice to know that other people feel the exact same way! I’m relieved that the endless school work is over, but I miss being able to walk into the studio and know that someone ANYONE would be there to chat … I miss my friends! But you’re completely right, whatever I’m doing now isn’t solving the problem, and I need to change my approach. love you!
It’s such a weird feeling compared to having SO many people around that it was almost annoying. Almost. Love you too chick.
You’re absolutely right Ash, there is a lot of love floating around the world for you and there isn’t an easy quick fix for where you are right now. I have lived in Melbourne for 25 years and my 2 closest friends have moved overseas in the last couple of years. I find myself in the same boat as you a lot of times but that’s just the way of it, people move and move away and we just pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and start all over again. And again.
Thanks Aunty Nik. I know you’re right.
Don’t you wish you could make friends as easily as you did back in elementary school? Making friends as an adult is hard work!!! Luckily, I have a great group of girls to work with. Where to find friends in Peoria? The gym? The bar? (Crusens on Farmington Rd is a good one) Anything at the Civic Center. I’ll keep thinking…. Hang in there!!! You’re such a likeable person.
Thanks so much Denise. I’m going to keep trying!
Wow! That’s a whole different perspective I never thought about since my life started out so differently! I bet it is a big change to go from college & friends to moving away to a new job and new life! Let me know if you’d like to get together sometime for a drink (or 2). I have lots of free time with Mike working so many hours. Hey, I may be old but I’m “cool” . . .
Sheri that sounds awesome!
I’ll be your friend! and consider us naturally yours people your friends!
Thanks Kristin! I’d love to be your friend 🙂
dude, Jennie and i are thinking about going on a hike in a few days. or this weekend. wanna join?
aw man! I’m at home in San Diego until the first? can you email me with your number? firstname.lastname@example.org. I’ll text you and we can keep in touch that way. I’d love to start joining you on things like that.