Tag Archives: People

Mindful Monday: What’s Beautiful About You?

My sisters and I had a skype conversation last week. They had just been on a hike and, in talking to each other about what they want to do with their lives, they both became very inspired. They called me for some advice, “we want to help people (women especially) with their confidence issues, how should we do it?” They already had a bunch of great ideas and we worked over a few details. They will, hopefully, be starting work on their campaign in the next couple months.

Around the same time, I got an email from my mom. She sent me a link to this video. It made me cry, of course. Watch it. It’s three minutes you won’t regret using. Continue reading

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Mold Your Mind Monday: Do we need a women’s movement?

And of course, in my haste and excitement I completely forgot that today is Mold Your Mind Monday! (< still experimenting with names) As I mentioned last week, I read some really great posts from bloggers all over the world. Today’s is from one my first and favorite followers: Ruth Rainwater.

She posted yesterday on the evolution and necessity of the Women’s Movement. It’s anecdotal and gives a great look at the dark place our society came from. Just read it.

Do We Still Need A Women’s Movement?

– Ruth Rainwater

 

Gossip Ruins People

Gossip

If you don’t have something nice to say, just zip that trap. We all heard that line (or some variation of it) when we were little. Every one of us has been the subject of gossip at some point in their lives. You know how much it hurts. So here’s the big questions:

WHY DO WE STILL DO IT?

I laid awake for much of the night wondering that. Just before I fell asleep, I found out that there are people who I barely know, in this brand new town of mine, gossiping about me. Rash, hurtful words that pinned me at my most vulnerable point.

Gossip Law #1: Even for me, strong, capable, confident me, words DO hurt. I learned this long ago in middle school and, ever since, I’ve realized that I don’t want to cause that pain to anyone else. It doesn’t matter how much I criticize them internally, everyone has weaknesses just like me, and I never want to make someone feel that that’s all I see.

Gossip Law #2: As much as we whisper and make people promise not to tell, the words ALWAYS get back to the person. This most recent gossip about me started in September. September! I heard it two night ago from a well-intentioned friend that was trying to help me become a better person. He was trying to help me and the fact that people talked STILL hurt.

Gossip Law #3: It doesn’t stop when we turn 16 years old, or 20, or even 35. It never just stops. It’s natural for people to talk negatively about others. It makes them feel powerful, like they have an advantage on you. Like they’re better than you. It’s natural, but it sucks and it can be stopped.

Gossip Law #4: It comes in all forms. Gossip doesn’t just have to be a woman whispering trash into another woman’s ear. As I’ve tried to cut it out of my life, I realize that gossip is any negative statement that emerges from your mouth about another person. Anything that, when you really think about it, could potentially hurt that person.

LISTEN UP. This is the most important one . . .

Gossip Law #5: It CAN be stopped. The only way to stop gossip is by filtering your own words. I have a best friend. My heterosexual life partner. She is the only person that I turn off the filter with. She does the same with me. We gossip to each other until kingdom come. But that is because we KNOW that it will never leave that conversation. With everyone else, my negative words are on lockdown. I don’t participate in negative conversations and will even try to stop them if they become about someone I love.

Everyone can do this. It only took me a few months to recognize and learn. So just try it, please. For the sake of all those people who you have yet to hurt.

Now off with you, have a wonderful, gossip-free weekend! I will be in Vegas with my family and friends through Monday so blogs will start back up on Tuesday. I will miss you all until then. But just remember:

KEEP CONVERSATION POSITIVE 🙂

 

Happy Monday: Weird Love

Saturday was a VERY long day of work for me. Let’s just say I was surrounded by screaming kids in a room with lots of echo. For NINE hours. Teachers: how do you do it?? Anyway! It meant that Sunday involved a whole lot of nothing. Mike and I watched both NFL playoff games and some really terrible television (my favorite kind).

We also had some spare time to talk about our relationship. We do that every once in a while. Just dive into what we think we’re doing well or what is missing for one or both of us. Of course we talked about some stuff that has been a work in progress for the last several months. But we also talked about how close we feel to each other having had to adapt to in this foreign environment: small town in Midwestern USA.

Being here has only increased our love and respect for each other and confidence in our relationship. The way we are learning to work through our relationship and personal problems is pretty awesome.

On that note, Mike sent me this the other day and I think it’s wonderful. Maybe you will too!

WeirdLove

 

I hope that wherever the love comes from in your life, that you’re getting a lot of it today. Happy Monday! 🙂

 

Motivational Monday: Are You a Realist?

Realist, cynic, sensible, unindealistic…are you one of those people who considers yourself rational and grounded? I’m flippin’ tired of people trying to make these qualities sound good! Of course, there are times when rationality can solve problems and levelheaded people are great in crisis situations. I pride myself in my ability to show these qualities when necessary. HOWEVER, too often people use those terms as a cover up for their pessimism.

Anger and pessimism are something that I have been trying to cut out of my life for some time now. I decided, around the time I graduated college, unchecked anger would fester inside of me; not only ruining my day but affecting my relationships with loved ones.

Getting the anger out was surprisingly easy. I am very self-aware and it was just a process of recognizing when anger was brewing and quickly repeating to myself, “it’s not worth the energy, it’s not worth the energy…” and taking deep breaths. It works! Anger is no longer a factor in my life and it’s wonderfully freeing. Of course I still get the random bought of uncontrollable fury but at that point I remove myself from the situation until I’ve calmed down.

The part I’ve really be struggling with is learning how to STOP COMPLAINING. Did you ever have a person in your life that complains, a lot. Not that they know it or would even be able to change it but boy is it a downer. I’ve had lots of people like that in my life and can’t help recognizing that I was one too. Yep. Me, a complainer. So this is my next step in personal growth. Learning how to cut out the “realism” and pessimism and just learn how to appreciate anything and everything.

My current personal growth activity: say or think a bad thing – say out loud 3-5 great things about the same subject.

example: Man this rainy weather sucks…but…it means I get to snuggle down with a cup of tea without remorse, and that my car is getting a rinse, and that the horrible drought this summer is finally ending!

See, it’s not so hard and it’s starting to make a world of difference. So try it, I dare you. It’s a real way to flip your brain to the happy side.

Turbulent Tuesday: Cooking for Mental Health

Yesterday was a rough day for me. I am trying SO hard not to complain and to look at everything in a positive way but jeez louise it’s getting difficult. I am very healthy, have a wonderful boyfriend, and loving family and friends all over the world. I write this awesome blog with awesome readers like you and I get to help people become happier and healthier all day. But something’s missing.

Maybe this is the problem with a lot of post-grads but I just expected my life to be slightly easier after I went through 6 years of 80 hour weeks in college. My social life was pretty great but I had no time to enjoy my friends. Now I’m finally making money (not much but it’s something) and am only working 50 hour weeks. But I don’t have any friends! Poor Mike bears the brunt of my breakdowns but they’re coming more and more often lately and it’s getting harder to turn my mood around. I would never trade my time with him for anything but WOMEN NEED WOMEN. And every attempt I’ve made to make plans with the ladies here has resulted in a great party/dinner/event but then never a word from them afterwords. Pretty discouraging and I’m just not sure what else to try.

Yesterday was rough. I had evening work to do but I said F that shiz and I cooked instead! I turned on my “singing” playlist and drowned myself in the music and the methodical process of cooking a meal. Ratatouille was the dish, taken from this awesome blogger. I never even knew what Ratatouille was so it wasn’t the best meal I’ve ever made but I’ll try it again and it will be even better.

The point is that I am finally starting to learn what calms me and brings me into the present. Having anxiety (check out this post) is a constant struggle against your own thoughts. It’s not an easy battle to win, but I’m trying. I fail a lot but I also succeed sometimes. My hope is that the successes will soon outweigh the failures and I can live my life in a more balanced way.

 

 

^ When I figure out how to make this better I will post my recipe.

So this morning I woke up and determined that it would be a better day. I’m starting off by writing to you (another one of my calmers) and now I’m about to work out and eat a nice, slow breakfast.

I hope you’re all having wonderful days. And if you’re not, figure out how to recenter yourself.