Tag Archives: friends

Monday Confession: Quarter Life Crisis

A friend of mine recently commented on this post (Anxiety to Depression and Back to Life) and I realized how important it is for me to continue writing about my imperfections and how I’m working to overcome them. The purpose of this blog is to educate and inspire but it’s also to help people realize that no one person has it all right. A great person knows that and works with it. So here it goes:

Confession: I think I’m having a Quarter Life Crisis. I work very hard at work, at my primary job and my secondary job. I take care of our apartment and do everything I can to keep Mike and I healthy. I feel pretty well stimulated considering the place I find myself in. But sometimes I get really really sad. I miss my friends. I miss having friends. Where did the days go when we could call each other and meet fifteen minutes later to have a coffee or a quick drink? College held amazing opportunities to be around people but I had so little time to take advantage of it. Now that I have the time, I don’t have the people. I’ve been working at this for months, trying to put myself out there and make friends. There have been small victories every once in a while but 5 months into our stay in Peoria, I still find myself very much friendless.

Misconceptions: I heard so many times while I was in school how awful it was to be graduated. I completely disagree. Thank goodness school is over. It was 6 years of way too much work, an emotional roller coaster. I do not miss it for a second. I now have freedom to do what I want when I want (pretty much) and I have the good fortune of finally spending my own money (instead of the bank’s)! The only crappy thing about being done with school is how my social life is suddenly and completely gone. Would it be different in another city? What about if I’d just gone traveling instead of settling in the US? I’ll never know. What I do know is that this happens to lots and lots of people every year. How do they merge into the adult world? It’s really fricken hard I think.

My Case:  I know I know. I’m being dramatic. Of course I have friends! They just don’t happen to live anywhere close to me. But that’s not enough. My close friends know how much they mean to me. We do everything we can to keep in touch and make sure we continue supporting each other, but I need someone to grab a quick drink or a coffee with.

Solution: I don’t know what the solution is. Obviously what I’m doing now isn’t working so I’m going to have to change my approach. This is going to be a learning experience for me. It may take much longer for me to figure this out but I will. Just like all those years and people before me, I’ll make friends. They may not be quite as awesome or close as the friends I have scattered all over the world, but they at least they’ll get a drink with me!

Anyway, that’s my confession. That is one of the many things I’m struggling with right now. I think that recognizing problems and making steps to solve them is a continuous, life-long process. And the fact that these are the type of issues I’m dealing with in my life makes me a VERY lucky lady.

ps. Thank goodness for all the love in my life. I may not have friends here in Peoria but man there’s a lot of love floating around for me outside this town.

Happy Monday everyone! Keep on keepin’ on 🙂

Happy Snowboard, Turkey, Stuffing, and Football Day!

Happy Day Ya’ll! I have the good fortune of being a guest at Mike’s family’s place in Sugarloaf, Maine; and some awesome bosses that gave me a few days off. This morning we all went skiing/snowboarding. I somehow managed to fall while getting off the lift and did a number on my wrist so I am now typing with one hand! Haha. It’s making me super thankful that I have both my arms! So today, you just get one awesome photo.

I’m the one in the red jacket and blue pants. At this point I was asking photographer to count to three so I could open my eyes. Haha!

Have a wonderful day everyone! 🙂

Remember Your Dreams?

It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything from within the depth of my brain but I realized recently that I’ve made great strides in my life and I want to tell you all about it.

My dad always said that graduating from college came as a great shock to him. Financially, he was suddenly making money and had credit cards and basically went crazy with it. Emotionally, he went from being at the top of the food chain to the very very bottom of the barrel. Luckily, I’m not finding the transition quite as drastic but man is it a shock! I thank goodness architecture steeled me for servitude, the hard work thing isn’t a problem. And my finances have just switched from spending the bank’s money to all the money I make now being given right back to them. My belt will remain cinched for the next 15 years. There’s no sudden freedom in that department.

The area I have had trouble with is figuring out where and how to channel all that passion I graduated with. School was hard. I’m talking drive you to tears almost daily, lock you in the same room with the same people on lots of red bull for days at a time hard. School was hard. But it also made me an incredibly strong, capable, ambitious woman. It forced me to define a reason for every one of my actions. It forced me to cut out the bull crap and focus on my immediate and future goals. My goals, upon graduating, were both for my career and personal life.

Personal: I wanted to travel and find a place I love to finally settle down and, eventually, have a family. I wanted to remain close with some incredible people I met in college while hopefully branching out and meeting new people. I wanted to get back to my family. My lovely, supportive, completely outrageous, and weird family, who I love and miss so dearly. I wanted to get back to them. And I wanted to stay with this amazing man that I met in my final year. Mike, my other half. I wanted our relationship to continue to grow and get stronger.

Career: I wanted to get some experience under a construction contractor, enough to have some confidence in my ability to know and direct the process. Then I wanted to start designing and building anything and everything. I wanted to have my own business as soon as I felt confident enough.

Wow was I shocked at how quickly a person’s ambition and dreams can be crushed under the weight of real life. While I am continuously working towards those goals, and am actually reaching some of them right this moment, I’m finding that so many of them were lost in the shuffle. So, in order to keep my goals at the forefront of my mind, and to keep myself from going insane in my current position in life, I remind myself why I’m doing what I’m doing.

What am I accomplishing for my life but also (and this is new for me) what am I bringing to other people’s lives. I am finding that, in helping other people define and reach their dreams in my place of work, I’m discovering and reaching my own. My dreams shift and meld with me. With each new experience, I try to improve as a person. As I become a better person, my dreams become better too!

A dream, a goal, and ambition does not have to be static. In fact, it’s better if it’s not. Dreams should flex as I grow as a person. They will become more detailed or more blurry. They will, sometimes, completely change direction. But the important thing about reaching my dreams, I realized, is that I find fulfillment in all the steps along the way. I will never get to the end point and think, was that really worth it?

So what are your dreams and goals? When was the last time you defined them? Maybe it’s time to write them down.

Motivational Monday: C’mon People…

Well I posted Friday’s post a little late but still…C’MON PEOPLE! 79 people saw last Friday’s post but only one courageous soul decided to reply. I know you all are listening because I’ve asked for your help before and you came out in the masses. So why is it that when I ask you to tell me what you think about ME, you’re all for it, but when it comes to other people, you’re silent.

So today, I will continue the exercise. Comment here, or on Friday’s post. All you have to do is compliment someone in your life. A genuine, heartfelt compliment that has nothing to do with their looks or outward appearance. Include their first name and last initial.

Some encouragement:

Helping others find happiness means you are that much closer to your own.

So do it, NOW. Comment here, verbalize something nice about a person you know and respect.

*Note to Ben, my brave reader, your quote will be published on Friday along with the others. Thanks for participating when no one else would 🙂

Bahahaha! This photographer (Seth Casteel: amazon, source) takes awesome pics of doggie underwater. HAPPY MONDAY (and almost Thanksgiving!)

 

Friends and Family Friday: Compliment Much?

My team meeting for work this week was AWESOME. Each of us four coworkers stood up front and received one compliment from the other three. It was interesting to hear nice things from people who I greatly respect but don’t really have a personal relationship with.

So we’re going to try it here, in my little corner of the blogosphere. If you do this, the outcome will be awesome.

And yes, I’M TALKING TO YOU.

3 simple steps:

1. In the comments section below, hit “reply.” If you’re reading this by email, also hit “reply” and I’ll get it as a comment (my Gran discovered that one).

2. Write a something nice about a person in your life that you’ve never complimented before. And I’m not talking, “Hey I like your sweater.” No. Something about they’re character, personality, and/or lifestyle. It can be ANYONE. Include their first name and last initial.

Example: “Ami G. I know some of the physical and emotional challenges you’ve encountered in your life and your positive attitude and love for life are inspiring.” <it doesn’t have to be that mushy but you get the idea.

3. Tell them in real life OR send them the link to this blog. I’m going to publish every single one of your compliments on Monday.

If you are hesitant to do this for a someone you aren’t too close with, imagine how good it would feel if they did it for you.

Take a minute to think and then write it out!

🙂

Turbulent Tuesday: Cooking for Mental Health

Yesterday was a rough day for me. I am trying SO hard not to complain and to look at everything in a positive way but jeez louise it’s getting difficult. I am very healthy, have a wonderful boyfriend, and loving family and friends all over the world. I write this awesome blog with awesome readers like you and I get to help people become happier and healthier all day. But something’s missing.

Maybe this is the problem with a lot of post-grads but I just expected my life to be slightly easier after I went through 6 years of 80 hour weeks in college. My social life was pretty great but I had no time to enjoy my friends. Now I’m finally making money (not much but it’s something) and am only working 50 hour weeks. But I don’t have any friends! Poor Mike bears the brunt of my breakdowns but they’re coming more and more often lately and it’s getting harder to turn my mood around. I would never trade my time with him for anything but WOMEN NEED WOMEN. And every attempt I’ve made to make plans with the ladies here has resulted in a great party/dinner/event but then never a word from them afterwords. Pretty discouraging and I’m just not sure what else to try.

Yesterday was rough. I had evening work to do but I said F that shiz and I cooked instead! I turned on my “singing” playlist and drowned myself in the music and the methodical process of cooking a meal. Ratatouille was the dish, taken from this awesome blogger. I never even knew what Ratatouille was so it wasn’t the best meal I’ve ever made but I’ll try it again and it will be even better.

The point is that I am finally starting to learn what calms me and brings me into the present. Having anxiety (check out this post) is a constant struggle against your own thoughts. It’s not an easy battle to win, but I’m trying. I fail a lot but I also succeed sometimes. My hope is that the successes will soon outweigh the failures and I can live my life in a more balanced way.

 

 

^ When I figure out how to make this better I will post my recipe.

So this morning I woke up and determined that it would be a better day. I’m starting off by writing to you (another one of my calmers) and now I’m about to work out and eat a nice, slow breakfast.

I hope you’re all having wonderful days. And if you’re not, figure out how to recenter yourself.

 

Friday Fun Times: Ice Skating!

Our lives were becoming stale. Wake up groggy and still tired, go to work, come home and eat dinner, watch tv, go to bed, repeat. It’s even boring writing it! So Mike and I decided to institute date night. For those of you that know us, you know that we didn’t go on our first date until we were 4 months into our relationship and living together. The whole graduation/moving to Illinois thing meant that we did things kind of backwards. SO, we have no idea how to date each other!

Of course, we are very short on money, so we have been exploring Peoria in a frugal way. Last Friday we went out to dinner (ordered only appetizers because they’re cheaper) then went ice skating! I told Mike that he had to arrange this one and, considering that he’s the romantically challenged of the two of us, he did a fantastic job.

There’s a rink right around the corner from us and it cost $6 each for ice time AND rentals. WOOHOO!

 

^ As far as I’m concerned, humans were not meant to have blades on their feet so I stumbled across the ice like a dancing baboon. Mike, however, is one of those people who is good at everything and he jumped on the ice and started skating backwards and doing turns and hockey stops and blah blah blah. I was slightly envious but also very proud of my man 🙂

‘Twas a great way to spend a Friday night. Cheap, cheerful, and sweat-inducing.

What do you do for a cheap date night?