Category Archives: Gratitude

Mindful Monday: What’s Beautiful About You?

My sisters and I had a skype conversation last week. They had just been on a hike and, in talking to each other about what they want to do with their lives, they both became very inspired. They called me for some advice, “we want to help people (women especially) with their confidence issues, how should we do it?” They already had a bunch of great ideas and we worked over a few details. They will, hopefully, be starting work on their campaign in the next couple months.

Around the same time, I got an email from my mom. She sent me a link to this video. It made me cry, of course. Watch it. It’s three minutes you won’t regret using. Continue reading →

Mindful Monday: April Goals

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I still haven’t finished the book. It sits on my dining table, my bedside table, and the couch and every once in a while, I pick it up and read a chapter or two. But it’s not because it’s a slow read, it’s because I’m savoring it. There are very few books that make me feel the way this one does. It calms me but motivates me. It reminds me that my life is about making me happy and nothing else. I know it sounds selfish but a lot of making myself happy means helping other people be happy too. 🙂 I’m talking about the Happiness Project. It’s amazing. Read more about it in my Healthful, Happy, and Loving Project post.

So, as promised, I will continue my efforts by revising and adding to my March Goals.

First, My Commandments. I read a list of these every morning. It reminds me what to focus on when I start to lose my footing.

Just because it’s fun for someone else, doesn’t mean it’s fun for me.
~~Me is the perfect person for me to be.~~ (< I realized that I don’t actually have a lot of trouble with this one)
It’s NOT “doing nothing,” it IS “active relaxation.”
Life is play, not an endless stream of work.
A true smile and laugh can change a whole conversation.
Want what I already have.
I don’t have to be good at everything
When I’m sad, stop thinking of the future. Just smile and make that moment happier.
Be happy when I succeed.

Second, a review of March Goals.

Take a 5-minute walk down the block, every morning between shower and work. SLOWLY. (This was amazingly effective. It slowed me down after rushing around all morning like a headless chicken. It helped me be more productive and relaxed during the work day.)
When I’m sad, stop thinking of the future. Just smile and try to make that moment happier.
(I actually didn’t have too many unhappy moments in 2 weeks but I anticipate that they will happen. So I’m adding it to the commandments.)
Choose a day of the week to talk to each parent and sibling. Like I do with Gran. (Did this!)
Read this list every day. (Great reminder and totally necessary for this project)
Remember to be happy when I succeed. (Something I DEFINITELY need to work on. This is added to the Commandments.)

And finally! My April Goals:

Continue the daily, 10-minute walks.
Create a folder for design inspiration. I read lots of design magazines and websites. Visiting the Frank Lloyd Wright designs in Chicago this weekend made me realize how much pent-up design energy I have. I want to have a folder on my computer for digital archives and a physical folder for magazine and newspaper articles. I’m hoping this will help me start sketching again too.
Learn to cook with the Vitamix: juice, smoothies, soup, and ice cream. I got my tax return so I’m going to buy it today. YAY!!
Finish the two health books I’ve been page through for the last 2 months.
Eat at least one raw meal per day.
Have at least one entirely vegetarian day per week.
Read this list every day.

I’ll keep you updated with part of this that are working and parts that aren’t. Did anyone else read this book and love it?

Ashley Life Update:
Mike and I spent this weekend in Oak Park, a suburb just outside Chicago. We were celebrating our 1-year anniversary and seeing a few sites that we hadn’t got to yet. We don’t know where we’ll be moving in June so we want to see as much of Chicago as possible. We stayed at an eccentric yet absolutely lovely Bed and Breakfast. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about opening my own Healthy B&B. To the extent that I’ve designed most of the rooms in my head and know the general rules that I’d like to operate under (ie. huge, comfy beds and soft towels, simple healthy meals, and a gym for sure). Now I just have to figure out where the money will come from. Hah.

Mike took the NRA intro to guns class I got him for Christmas well I slept off the lingering and oh-so-annoying flu. Then he met me at FLW’s Robie House in Hyde Park. That night was spent out on the town. We don’t like to party much but when we have a free night and a city full of entertainment, we take advantage. Mike treated me to a very chic, very delicious dinner at an underground jazz/prohibition bar and then we went dancing uptown.

Sunday (Easter!) was spent touring the FLW house and studio around the corner from our B&B and visited Trader Joes (man I miss that place!) before the 3 hour drive back to Peoria. We sort of just ignored easter. Much to my chagrin, without any kids or parents around, there wasn’t any good excuse for an Easter egg hunt.

I hope you all had relaxing and family filled holidays! Love and hugs – Ash

Fantastic Friday: Best Moment Award!

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Best Moment Award

Awarding the people who live in the moment,
The noble who write and capture the best in life,
The bold who reminded us what really mattered –
Savoring the experience of quality time.

ACCEPTANCE SPEECH

I won an award! For those of you who don’t know, there are tons of different types of awards floating around the blogosphere. I always secretly wished that I would receive one and voile! The Moment Matters award is given by fellow readers. Thanks to 1DigitalFingerPrint for giving me this one; it is such a huge compliment 🙂

This is a great test for me. I never knew how these awards were given and, to be honest, I was a little sad when I realized that there are probably thousands of bloggers (maybe even tens of thousands) of bloggers who have received this one. But then it dawned on me, who cares??

I am so stoked that a person I very much respect thought me worthy of recognition. Have I come to that point? I guess so. This website has become an arena of self-expression for me. It’s my soap box to shout from when no one in the real world wanted to listen to my babble. Alas, I have found a community of friends and strangers that find value in my thoughts and research.

Writing to you all keeps me on the right track. Your comments keep me motivated. Thanks everyone! And HAPPY EASTER! 🙂

THE WINNERS OF THE BEST MOMENT AWARD ARE:

Gratitude Journal

Ruth is on day 435. She writes 3 things she’s thankful for EVERY day. She is a huge inspiration to lead a thankful life.; Once A Month For Ladies; This group of women is not afraid to tell it like it is. They explore the deepest depths of being a woman and then put it online so it’s fun for everyone! What’s not to like?
My French Heaven: This chef posts some of the most delicious and indulgent recipes. But what I love most it how he ties it in with his passion for life. Just slow down and cook for a bit 🙂
Jennova Food Blog: This is a blog centered around food science. The author is extremely detailed in her posts but also helps me understand exactly how my body processes certain things. Her posts are a manageable length and I get absolutely wrapped up in them.
Inspire and Indulge: Sometimes I feel that Leah and I are kindred spirits. Her blog documents her adventures in health and life as a young adult. She’s full of spirit and, it seems, always looking on the bright side of life. Her posts inspire me to keep on the right track to health and happiness.

RULES:

Winners re-post this completely with their acceptance speech. This could be written or video recorded.
Winners have the privilege of awarding the next awardees! The re-post should include a NEW set of people/blogs worthy of the award; and winners notify them the great news.

RESOURCES:

What makes a good acceptance speech?

Gratitude. Thank the people who helped you along the way
Humor. Keep us entertained and smiling
Inspiration. Make your story touch our lives

Get an idea from the great acceptance speeches, compiled in MomentMatters.com/Speech: Display the award’s badge on your blog/website, downloadable in MomentMatters.com/Award

Don’t forget to celebrate with your followers! Tweet your success with hashtag #MomentMatters. Congratulations, winners!

Mindful Monday: Gratitude

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What is a “thankful mind?” Why are there books and blogs and entire websites dedicated to thankfulness? Why do all the happiness experts tell us that having a thankful mind is one of the keys to overall wellbeing? You will never know until you try it. Trust me, it changes the way you think.

Since starting this blog, I’ve found other bloggers who write entirely about why they’re thankful. While I won’t go that far (I have WAY too many other things to say) it can be a great mental exercise to follow their lead.

So I know it’s Monday, and the working world has started turning again, but how about you just take a second to reflect on why you’re thankful?

There are two quick posts from other bloggers that may get your juices flowing.
Day 431 – Ruth Rainwater and Year of Kindness Challenge: Week 12 – Dallas Woodburn

The three things I’m thankful for today:
1. The internet and Skype. Yesterday I got to talk to a friend in China AND North Carolina. It was almost like they were sitting right next to me. I love technology.
2. A fully stocked kitchen. I spent yesterday morning and afternoon cooking up all kinds of deliciousness. I haven’t always had my own happy, clean, fully stocked kitchen in which to experiment, and I love it!
3. My Gran. She is one of the most understanding and respectful women I know. When I miss our weekly phone calls, I feel just a little more anxious and unsettled. Just the sound of her voice peps me up and calms me down at the same time.

What are your three things today? 🙂

Friendly Friday: How Much Is Too Much?

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It’s an odd question to ponder. Especially when it comes to something that makes someone feel so good. Do people get spoiled? Do they start to take it for granted? Can you ever show someone too much love?

One of the goals of my Happiness Project is to set up a day each week to talk to each of my siblings. It’s a joint effort and we’ve all succeeded. Makenna is on Tuesday, Cam is on Wednesday, and Nikki is on Thursday. It’s wonderful to hear about their lives more frequently and I’m really excited for it to become a regular thing.

I am the oldest of four. I’ve been a third parent to my siblings from the time I could reach the kitchen counter. There must have been some natural motherly tendencies there already but ay caramba, being an oldest sister really brought it out of me. Our childhood groomed me to nurture and care for people and generally just give them a lot of love.

But is there ever too much love? I tell my friends and family, multiple times in a conversation, that I love them and miss them. Because I do! I never want the special people in my life to question it. Do you think they ever just stop listening? Shrug off or tune out the doting words I throw their way. Not because they don’t appreciate it but because I say it (and try to show it) as often as possible?

I think that people act the way they want to be treated. Maybe I feel the need to express my love because it’s awesome when I get it back. I don’t know. What I do know is that it feels great to have so many people who are worthy of my energy. What a lucky lady I am 🙂

The Healthful, Happy, and Loving Project …

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March Goals:

Take a 5-minute walk down the block, every morning between shower and work. SLOWLY.
When I’m sad, stop thinking of the future. Just smile and try to make that moment happier.
Chose a day of the week to talk to each parent and sibling. Like I do with Gran.
Read this list every day.
Remember to be happy when I succeed.

These seem like some pretty specific goals right? How did I arrive at them? Well …

There’s a really awesome book a friend sent me. It’s called The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. Instead of being all preachy and general, she chronicles the details of finding her way to happiness. She lays out a list of what she wants to improve and then divides that list into manageable parts. It’s basically a book about baby steps.

I’m finding it very inspirational so I’ve decided to do the same. Every month I’ll lay out my goals for you all to see. I’m not doing this because I’m particularly unhappy. I just have so much awesomeness in my life and I think I could appreciate it better. If I’m not 100% content when everything is hunky-dory, what will happen when life isn’t so nice? I want my happiness to be strong enough to withstand even the hardest challenges.

The questions I’m asking myself:

What makes me feel good?
What makes me feel bad?
Is there any way in which I don’t feel right about my life?
Do I live in a way that encourages growth?

My answers to solve these questions – 2013 Goals:

Stop being so concerned with the future (haha, does the list of goals act against that?).
Learn to switch off work and relax.
Be outdoors more.
Wake up more energized.
Pay off my credit card bills.
Invest in quality cooking and cleaning tools – then use them to their full potential.
Communicate more regularly with friends and family.
Improve our nutrition (eat more raw, nutrient-dense food and cut out all dinnertime grains and sugars).
Remove toxins from our food, personal hygiene, cleaning products, etc.
Learn to enjoy riding my bike again.
Stop putting so much pressure on myself.
Remember to be happy when I succeed at these goals.

Things I don’t want to change:

My commitment to exercise.
My love of healthy cooking.
The strength of Mike and My relationship.
The strength of my ties to my family.
My plans for travel.
My thankful heart.
My cleanliness and organization.

My Commandments:

Just because it’s fun for someone else, doesn’t mean it’s fun for me.
Me is the perfect person for me to be.
It’s NOT “doing nothing,” it IS “active relaxation.”
Life is play, not an endless stream of work.
A true smile and laugh can change a whole conversation.
Want what I already have.
I don’t have to be good at everything.

To that end, I will let you know, each month what my focus goals are for that month. I’ll pick as many or as few as I think I can handle. Some of them may be focused on for multiple months, some may be much easier than that. Since March is 1/3 of the way in, this month’s list is relatively short. But there’s no better time to start than today!

Does anyone want to join me in this? It can be as big or small of a project as you like. Let me know!

Love and a big smile. – Ash

Marvelous Monday: Hot Dogs, Museum, and a Luxury Hotel

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Living in a relatively small city immediately after graduation was (and still is) a big shock to me. It’s not because of the different types of people and it’s not even because I’m far from home, it’s the lack of variation! I realized it when I was walking around Chicago this weekend. No one stares at me because I have short hair and am wearing a gorgeous red coat. I know this sounds hyperbolic but I’m totally serious. I’ve found myself toning down my level of “urban” and it wasn’t until this weekend that I fully realized it.

Needless to say, it was wonderfully liberating to be in Chicago again this weekend. I met my best friend in the entire world, Sarah. She flew from North Carolina to meet me and, of course, it was epic. Somehow, when we get together, we manage to find the most incredible deals on some really swanky experiences. So instead of writing it all down, I’ll show you some photos!

*Credit to Sarah for most of the photos. Pick them out by spotting the good ones.*

Day One:

^ This restaurant is called the Pump Room (in the Public Hotel). Before we got here, Sarah found a voucher for a gourmet meal on GiltCity.com. Mixology cocktails, tuna tartare, apple and brie toast, lobster ravioli, and a caramel corn salted sundae. We ate until midnight and then collapsed in our hotel room.

Day Two:

We obviously had to see The Bean (cloudgate). This is by far my favorite monument in any city that I’ve seen. It is really a gorgeous shape and it brings together every view of the inside of the city. Also, it’s REALLY fun to take pictures with it.

We both felt like absorbing a little culture (and keeping out of the freezing weather outside) so we checked out the Art Institute. The building was very beautiful and the exhibits were right up our alley (they even had one of Studio Gang Architects).

Then we ditched the cultural stuff and headed about 15 minutes outside the city to Hot Dougs. This place serves the most unbelievable hot dog I’ve ever seen. We checked out the reviews online and decided on the following: Duck dog with foie gras and truffle aoili, rabbit dog with ricotta cheese and raspberry preserves, 2 normal dogs with all the toppings, and cheese fries.

We had to wait outside in 20°F for ONE HOUR to even get inside this place. It was packed. But once we did order, it was pretty affordable and the dogs were to die for. The only time Sarah and I are ever quiet is when we are hungry and when we are mowing down food like this.

^ We even got to meat (haha) Doug himself!

That night we stayed in and enjoyed our most luxurious hotel room and some deep dish pizza.

This hotel room needs some further explanation. As I mentioned, Sarah and I find the most amazing bargains. I found this hotel room at Swisshotel (they are usually upwards of $200) for $110 a night on Bookit.com. It was SO worth the effort. This place was so nice that we WANTED to stay in and enjoy it. I took photos of the tiny details so you would understand.

^ Bedside table: light switches for the whole room, an alarm clock AND ipod player, and outlets on the lamp. Perfection.

^ A CLEAN tub and a shower. Also, please note the phone next to the toilet. If you’re wondering, of course I used it.

^ When the maids came in, they straightened up our shoes and toiletries and the room was sparkling.

^ There was a Keurig coffee maker with free K-cups. And wine glasses and bottle openers. These people knew we were coming.

We spent Sunday chatting and doing some shopping (aka bargain hunting) before Sarah had to fly out. It was MUCH too short of a stay but absolutely wonderful all the same. There’s nothing like the company of your best girlfriend 🙂

I Have A Happy Heart

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Mom and Dad,
Nicola, Makenna, and Cam.
Has there ever been a time,
When we haven’t been an awesome fam?

Vegas was epic,
Just like all our holidays.
We manage to break the rules,
And have fun in our weirdo ways.

Seven years
Is WAY too many days.
Navigating life without you around,
Is like finding my way out of the toughest maze.

So on this day,
When I can’t see all your gorgeous faces,
I’ll think of the next time,
We can eat, drink, and laugh in crazy places.

ps.
This ode should include,
Some love for my Gran and Chuck,
Without your unwavering support,
I’d be s**t out of luck.

Gran’s weekly phone calls,
Chuck’s endless flattery,
Pulls down my walls,
And keeps me going like an Energizer battery.

I love ALL of you. My readers, my family, my grandparents, my aunts and uncles, my new family (the Farrar’s!), my coworkers, and my closest friends.

Whether you’re single or taken, just make sure you give at least one person a hug today 🙂

Thankful Tuesday: Back to Real Life

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I had an incredible weekend. It was full of family and friends that I haven’t seen in a long time. But also lots of rugby, gambling, no exercise, and eating and drinking whatever my heart desires. Mike and I went to Las Vegas for 3 days to meet my family and watch the Rugby Sevens tournament. I went last year too and plan on continuing the tradition for as long as possible.

When I go on vacation, I go all out (yep, wine for dinner was a reality this weekend). It gets all the bad habits out of my system and lets me return to real life thoroughly exhausted and ready to be 100% healthy again.

So obviously I don’t have a new recipe for today since every meal I ate for the last 4 days was from a restaurant but I would like to bring back Thankful Tuesdays.

So on this lovely day in February, I am thankful for:

A job that earns me enough money to travel to places like Vegas for the weekend but also gives me the flexible schedule to do it.

2. The family that makes a priority out of traveling to meet each other and party.

3. The boyfriend that comes with me and makes it all even more fun.

Instead of having holiday blues, maybe I’ll try to remember how amazing it is that I have these experiences in the first place. You think?

What are you thankful for today?

Gossip Ruins People

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If you don’t have something nice to say, just zip that trap. We all heard that line (or some variation of it) when we were little. Every one of us has been the subject of gossip at some point in their lives. You know how much it hurts. So here’s the big questions:

WHY DO WE STILL DO IT?

I laid awake for much of the night wondering that. Just before I fell asleep, I found out that there are people who I barely know, in this brand new town of mine, gossiping about me. Rash, hurtful words that pinned me at my most vulnerable point.

Gossip Law #1: Even for me, strong, capable, confident me, words DO hurt. I learned this long ago in middle school and, ever since, I’ve realized that I don’t want to cause that pain to anyone else. It doesn’t matter how much I criticize them internally, everyone has weaknesses just like me, and I never want to make someone feel that that’s all I see.

Gossip Law #2: As much as we whisper and make people promise not to tell, the words ALWAYS get back to the person. This most recent gossip about me started in September. September! I heard it two night ago from a well-intentioned friend that was trying to help me become a better person. He was trying to help me and the fact that people talked STILL hurt.

Gossip Law #3: It doesn’t stop when we turn 16 years old, or 20, or even 35. It never just stops. It’s natural for people to talk negatively about others. It makes them feel powerful, like they have an advantage on you. Like they’re better than you. It’s natural, but it sucks and it can be stopped.

Gossip Law #4: It comes in all forms. Gossip doesn’t just have to be a woman whispering trash into another woman’s ear. As I’ve tried to cut it out of my life, I realize that gossip is any negative statement that emerges from your mouth about another person. Anything that, when you really think about it, could potentially hurt that person.

LISTEN UP. This is the most important one . . .

Gossip Law #5: It CAN be stopped. The only way to stop gossip is by filtering your own words. I have a best friend. My heterosexual life partner. She is the only person that I turn off the filter with. She does the same with me. We gossip to each other until kingdom come. But that is because we KNOW that it will never leave that conversation. With everyone else, my negative words are on lockdown. I don’t participate in negative conversations and will even try to stop them if they become about someone I love.

Everyone can do this. It only took me a few months to recognize and learn. So just try it, please. For the sake of all those people who you have yet to hurt.

Now off with you, have a wonderful, gossip-free weekend! I will be in Vegas with my family and friends through Monday so blogs will start back up on Tuesday. I will miss you all until then. But just remember:

KEEP CONVERSATION POSITIVE 🙂

A Happy Lass

One woman's journey to her healthiest body and mind.